By popular demand (we want to thank you for all the emails and comments by the way- love it!) here are Sandra’s Tips & Tricks for finding your DREAM wedding dress…  

Sandra-So, as some of you know, I have a background in fashion. It consumes my life, and I love it so much I may just need to open a boutique … hmmmmmmmmmmm… wink wink lol

I have a special place in my heart for Wedding dresses. I LIVE for WEDDING DRESSES!

A wedding dress will be the closest thing to a couture gown for some; It’s a wonderful garment, made of the finest fabrics, structured and fitted to you and your measurements, and when you put it on, not only is your fiancée’s breathe taken away, but yours is too, especially when you stand in the mirror and glance at this woman who is now you.  It’s your chance to feel like a princess, a Parisian model, a movie star! Instead of the red carpet, you have a white aisle with petals tossed gently over it, and all eyes are on you.  You have your own paparazzi; you have your own fans eyeing your every move in that magnificent thing as you gracefully walk down the aisle. 

I love a wedding dress!

I am a true believer that there is a wedding dress for every girl in the world.  Much like finding your soul mate, when you find that dress, you know it.  Don’t think so? Well, 90% of the time, finding the dress of your dreams will make you emotional when you put it on.  I for one was a nonbeliever of that, until I put on my Simone Carvalli Gown and starred at myself, and remembering when I was a little girl what I wanted to look like when I got married. And there it was, right there in front of me. I remember my eyes watered up and I literally fell head over heels for this dress. Nothing else compared to it.  It felt like it was made for me.  

Think back to when you were a little girl.  What did you think you would wear for your wedding? Was it a ball gown like Belle, Cinderella or Scarlett O’Hara?  Did you think your dress would be a glamorous dress worthy of a Rita Hayworth film, or sexy like Sophia Loren or Marilyn Monroe…or more demur and ladylike like Audrey Hepburn?  Or were you going to be an ethereal Goddess or Angel? Either way, you wanted to be a vision in white (or ivory…whatever color! It’s your wedding!) And you wanted to be the center of attention. 

I personally believe that a girl should try on and look at dresses that she likes, not so much what bridal magazine categories her “body type” in or what her family and friends thinks she should wear. That’s like putting a restriction on a bride’s dream and I feel that’s not fair.  Grant it, it should flatter your body, but because you have a wider bottom doesn’t mean that you should shy away from Mermaid dresses! Especially if you dreamed of wearing it! That’s why we try things on!!  Go in with an open mind.  And do your homework.  Never go shopping blind sided.  Know what you want and you won’t get suckered into a dress your iffy about.  Remember, once you put money down on a dress, you very rarely get that money back.  So be certain and make sure you’re happy.

Tips for Dress Shopping

~Doing research is the key.  Go through bridal magazines, rip out pages with styles you like, go on the internet and print them.  Be well prepared.

~Call ahead to insure that those dresses are in the store that you made the appointment in.  They may even pull the styles in advance so that you don’t get side tracked at styles you don’t want.  Side Note: Most bridal salons are Appointment only.  If they aren’t, go during the week, like a Tuesday or Wednesday.  This way, you have the time to try and you won’t feel rushed.  

~Go to trunk shows.  Not only will you likely save some money on your gown, but you get to see collections before the bridal salons carry them.  When calling for your appointment (trunk shows are generally Appointment only), make sure you mention that you need to see particular styles, and chances are they will make sure those trunk show dresses are there.  Side note: sometimes advertised styles in Bride magazines are strictly trunk show pieces.  Best way to find out is to call the manufacturer and bridal store.  I knew what I wanted from the day I saw my dress in an advertisement.  My dress was only available through trunk shows, so I made an appointment with the bridal salon for their Simone Carvalli Trunk Show, and told them I needed to try on this style.  They made sure it was there; Just for me.

~Look at a variety of dresses and styles.  I may have known that my dress was the first one I put on, but I tried on several other styles just to make sure. Six dresses later, I felt comfortable enough to say that number 1 was sold.  And that pickups made me look like a cupcake…and it was a style not made for me at all lol.

~ Wear the right underwear when you shop.  A convertible bra, Spanx or proper underwear should be worn.  More than likely, someone will be helping you in and out of samples.  Unless you don’t care, undergarments should be modest.  

~ Bring heels.  They don’t need to be “the shoes” but hello! You want some of the affect!  I highly doubt you’ll be wearing knee high boots with your wedding dress. So bring a pair of dress shoes with you.

You need to also be stern about your decision.  You have to wear it; not your mother, not your sister, not your friends, but YOU.  So if you love that ball gown, but your mom insist on the princess, remember it’s your day, tell her “thank you” but the truth is you envision your wedding day with that ball gown. And more than likely, she’ll see your way; especially on your wedding day when she is crying because you’re a bride.

What kinds of dresses are there?

It’s really sad but I can break down the silhouette of dress in less than 30 seconds.  Ask my best friend. She showed me a picture of a dress she tried on and I literally told her what kind of dress she was wearing, the shade of white, the neckline, the bustle it would need etc.  I’m a girl who knows her stuff.  I may not be able to cook or fix something but when it comes to fashion, I’m on my game.  There are thousands of dresses out there.  Knowing what you’re dealing with is the key to “happy shopping”.  Let’s start with the basics:

Mermaid, Trumpet or Fit and Flare-My personal favorite! Joey’s too lol! Ok, so if you are comfortable with your body, this dress is for you.  You should love your curves enough to feel comfortable with showing them off.  There is an emphasis put on your curves, all of them.  Whether it’s your upper or lower half, you need to be prepared to show off both. Think of an hourglass…and that’s this dress.  It hugs your curves! And it’s sexy.  Now you can help your upper and lower halves along to make this dress work for you… details in the bodice and padding help create a curvier upper half, while simple detailing the waist down helps de-emphasis the lower section.  Another secret…wear heels.  Wear a heel more than 2 inches, and it’s an instant butt lift. Also, this dress is best when it’s a thicker material; it’s more structured, and the fabric will hold you in place better than lighter fabric. 

A-line or Princess-This is actually the most flattering shape on any body type.  It has a fitted bodice, and opens gradually so that it creates an “A” shape. My bridesmaid dresses were A-line.  It worked on everyone’s shape.  What’s beautiful about this silhouette is that it will elongate your figure so you look like a tall drink of water.  I have seen this dress done in so many ways, but I absolutely love it when the bodice is elongated slightly to a drop waist, with gathered details so it creates a waist.  This now leads me to…

Drop Waist- More than likely, this will appear to have an A-line silhouette.   Sometimes you will see a fit and flare and ball gown but this looks most dramatic with a full A-line bottom.  A drop waist is fitted throughout the upper body straight through the hip, and than becomes full midway.  Like the Mermaid, Trumpet and fit and flare, this look is sexy, and with the right undergarments, can be executed beautifully.  It’s perfect for the girl who saw herself as a princess, but wants to be a siren.  

Ball Gown-Here is your “princess in a fairy tale” silhouette. This is the most traditional of all wedding gowns.  Here you have a fitted bodice and waist and gives way to a full skirt.   It can be very elegant, like Princess Diana, or Dramatic like Kate Hudson in Bride Wars.  I have even seen this look done with pockets! It’s for a girl who wants to live that quintessential wedding dream.  I think Ball Gown I think Barbie!  Remember, Ball Gown’s tend to have volume at the skirt, so there is an attention to the waist and upper half. 

Empire or Goddess- The Goddess dress as I like to put it.  This gown has a high waistline, usually right under the bust, and floats away from the body, giving way to a slender skirt. It is best known to de-emphasis the waist and gives the illusion that the bride is long and lean.  I absolutely love this look when it looks Grecian, not like a costume but like a beautiful statuette Grecian look.  Now sometimes, the Empire and A-line dress will come together, and it’s a stunning look: overall it’s flattering.

Sheath-Sheath dresses are very body conscious dresses, following the contours of the body, with a straight skirt. This dress relies on the bride’s body for its shaping.  So proper undergarments are very important, and you need to be 100% confident in your own skin to wear this dress.  To help create a waist, look for dresses that have detailing around your midsection, particularly ruching.  This is the sexiest of the looks I feel, and only the brave can really pull it off.

My Tricks of Trade-

~Spanx are one of the best inventions the world has ever seen. The creator of Spanx deserves the gratitude of all women everywhere.  Women of every size, shape and proportion use Spanx.  We owe it to Spanx for no panty lines, no bumps in the booty, enhancing our curves and above all, keeping everything in place.  Celebrities swear by these undergarments, Magazines urge them and department stores can’t keep them in stock long enough.   I love Spanx. I wore them for my wedding and hello no panty lines! Trust me, there’s nothing embarrassing about Spanx.  Buy a pair and tell me how much you love them later… www.spanx.com

~Repeat after me: “Heels are your friend.” Joey may not agree with me on that one, but go 2 inches or higher, and you have posture and a butt lift.  And the best part is there are wedding shoes out that are so cute, and colorful! And adorned with Swarovski Crystals! Whether you go Manolo Blahnik (sigh…), Christian Louboutin (bigger sigh…), or Martinez Valero (Love him!) or Betsey Johnson (Love her!) shoes are more fun now and less traditional.  Look for something with a little ankle support (like a strap or peep toe) and also, because I know you’ll be dancing, look for a ballet flat or take a cue from me and get those platform sandals from Victoria Secrets and get them to your heel height.  This way you won’t dirty your gown at the bottom as much, you won’t trip and kill yourself, or when you take pictures on the grass you won’t destroy your shoes or the property. Check out these sites for fantastic and amazing shoes:

www.myglassslipper.com

www.zappos.com

www.piperlime.com

~When you have your dress altered, tell them you want the cups sewn into your gown.  You will save yourself the headache of an uncomfortable strap! Not to mention, tell them to give you a “little extra” if you know what I mean.  They do it all the time and it’s fairly inexpensive to do.  So you save some money by not buying a bra and you gain some “upper half”. The seamstress will have these cups handy, so just request them.

Now I feel strongly that a bride should feel and look her absolute best on her wedding day.  Not to mention any woman should feel good about herself regardless of the day. 

I can’t stress this enough because I really feel that most woman belittle themselves and put themselves into these categories of “flaws”;  “My butt is too big, my boobs are too small, I hate my nose, I don’t like my calves, I have back fat…” And than this negative energy comes out in full force against other women: “She’s fat, she has an ugly face, she has bad hair, she has a nasty smile, and her boobs are too big…”

Good God. Our society really sucks at letting women feel good about themselves.  It’s so easy to be like “sticks and stones may break my bones but word can never hurt me…” but the truth is those words cut like a knife. I had my fair share of public ridicule, and I’ve forgiven those negative women but the truth is, why bother even saying it.  They are so defensive in their own minds, and they use this banter to make themselves feel better.  I think some people need a healthy dose of “I need an attitude adjustment” and come to terms that they are miserable with their own lives.  Than they should either get some confidence or get some help. 

What’s really sad is that so many YOUNG girls are faced with these problems today, like eating disorders, low self esteem and body issues.  And it’s starting younger and younger.  They have to be learning it from somewhere.  And sadly they are learning from us.  These negative, nitpicky comments about us and others are pooling into their little heads, and now there are 5 year olds asking their mommy’s if their fat!

Ok, so why am I going on and on about this? Because when you go to try on dresses, don’t tell yourself you’re too fat or too skinny or too ugly or not good enough to look good in a dress.  Go in there positive, and hopeful.  And try on as many as you need and want too!  Because in the end, your wedding dress is something you have been thinking about your entire life.  You owe it to yourself to make this experience a dream come true.  And if other people bring you down, leave them home.  Let them have a pity party for themselves. 

I’ll just take their place and come with you!  :-)

Got questions? Need help with your wedding, home improvements, fashion, beauty or anything?  Drop Joey and me a line in comments here or at www.facebook.com/joeyandsandra

Thank you all for the wonderful feedback about my dress by the way… you constantly put a smile on my face, and let me tell you, sometimes I need it! Seriously, Joey and I are very blessed to have awesome fans like you.

Joey and Sandra from My Big Friggin Wedding. Check out Sandra and Joey's Official Website!